JACKSON, Wyo. — In the spirit of Friday the 13th and with June being National Safety Month, the National Park Service (NPS) and Grand Teton National Park (GTNP) are reminding visitors and park employees to prioritize their safety on a day ripe with superstitions.
“Now, we’re not superstitious… but we are a little stitious,” GTNP posted to social media. “This Friday the 13th, take a minute to think about the real-world risks you might face — whether at home or while exploring Grand Teton — and how you’d respond.”
NPS compiled a list of helpful tips for navigating potentially “spooky obstacles” on Friday the 13th, encouraging people to remember the following:
- Not every strange noise needs to investigated. “What was that? Bigfoot or your stomach growling because you need a snack? Don’t get hangry. Some things in life are better left a mystery. Also, eat some trail mix.”
- Be careful while running. “Wait, why are you running? Anyway, mix it up with a zig then zag. Also, watch out for twisted tree roots. Trust us, they’re twisted. They care for no one and will trip you up just when you thought everything was fine.”
- Animals aren’t always cute. “Oh my gosh, like, as if! That squirrel is, like, totally adorbs with its fluffy tail and those cute little paws. And that bison, like, needs a friend for sure, but, like, let’s not forget that squirrels can totally bite, especially from the bitey end, and that the bison has all the friends they need. Now, like, who packed the bandages and the extra leg splint?”
- Avoid cornfields. “Did that scarecrow just wave? The only good to come out of a cornfield is, well, corn. Too corny? Oh, look at that cute Junior Ranger. Wait, are their eyes glowing and what’s with the haircut? Stay calm. Don’t get husk-terical…yet.”
- Keep a phone charged. “Don’t get caught with a dead battery. Even in a crisis, you never know when you’ll need to play that video of two cats lip-synching to ‘Don’t Stop Meow’ or lose the ability to frantically search an app for the nearest abandoned bathroom next to a cemetery that is definitely not haunted.”
- Don’t split up on a wilderness trail. “Friends should stick together for a most enjoyable visit. Friendly reminder: make a mental note of which one of you could outrun a bear. Also, which one of you would most likely push the other down in an attempt to save themselves. If you’re currently asking yourself the second one, you’re already on the ground. Good luck.”
- Use good judgment and avoid reading too loudly. “Rustling leaves or a bolt of lightning crackling ominously above, as if nature itself is warning you to pipe down. And if an otherworldly force from beyond cries out in a terrifying and judgmental way, ‘Flip flops, really? On an uphill hike?’ — stop reading immediately!”
- Don’t light any weird-looking candles or leave campfires unattended. “You might think is just a bit of hocus pocus, but the flickering flames of an ancient candle or the light of a cackling fire may beckon the spirits (or those loud campers from next door running amok, amok, amok, amok) out of the shadows. Form a calming circle and put out that flame!”
GTNP shared that its employees recently got together to hone their emergency response skills and preparedness.
“Here at Grand Teton, we like to lead by example,” GTNP wrote via Facebook. “This week, staff gathered near park headquarters for hands-on training to refresh some of the skills we don’t use every day but need to be ready to use at any time.”
According to GTNP, staff reviewed and practiced a number of safety procedures:
- Fire safety and how to properly use a fire extinguisher, after calling 911
- Bear safety and practicing bear spray deployment
- Water safety and fitting a life jacket correctly
- Driving safety and understanding vehicle pivot points
- Small mammal safety: responding to possible hantavirus or rabies exposure
- Radio communications with emergency dispatchers
- Backing up safely since approximately 25% of vehicle accidents involve poor reversing techniques
Stay safe out there!
