A message from the Teton County Health Department:

JACKSON, Wyo. — To kick off the New Year, the Teton County Health Department is sharing tips and techniques for Starting Challenging Conversations. Avoiding hard conversations doesn’t make them go away, but it can be difficult to know where to start. Read below for ideas on how to set yourself up for productive conversations with friends, loved ones or colleagues. Visit the bilingual web-based platform CredibleMind for other effective approaches and resources to help you develop good communication skills.

How do you begin hard conversations?

It can take courage to begin a hard conversation. Try not to catch someone off guard, but instead find a mutually agreeable time to have the hard conversation so that both of you can prepare. First, consider the best conditions for the conversation. For example, perhaps it would be easier to talk while going on a walk. Or, it may be important to have a third person there to help mediate.

Before you begin, make sure you are clear about why you are having the conversation, keep your emotions in check and have an open mind. As you begin the conversation, it’s best to not avoid the topic, but speak directly about what is causing conflict. Don’t use “you” statements during the conversation, but instead use “I” statements to avoid using blaming language. Make sure there is equitable space for both of you to share frustrations and try to not use defensive language.

You’ll also want to make sure that, at some point in the course of the conversation, you begin to move toward a solution.

What are ‘I-statements’?

The next time you find yourself in a debate or argument with your partner or friend, say, “I feel (this emotion) when you (do this).” Using an “I-statement” will help you focus your own feelings and experiences as opposed to assuming the other’s intention and making them feel defensive.

Below are some additional resources on communication:

Find additional tools and other self-treatment resources at https://teton.crediblemind.com/. This programming has been made possible through generous funding from the Community Foundation of Jackson Hole’s Behavioral Health Initiatives Grant.