WYOMING — The annual elk shed hunt has been canceled this year following the discovery of a vital mineral in elk antlers that can reduce the severity of a disease that has plagued the valley’s ungulate populations for decades.
Scientific researchers at the Cowboy Community College have discovered a mineral in elk antlers that binds to Constant Weakening Bug (CWB) proteins in the soil and decreases the likelihood of transmission from dirt to elk. The Wyoming Fun and Game Association (WFGA) has called off the spring tradition of gathering elk antler sheds in order to repopulate the soil with the mineral, which has aptly been named wapitium.
“The people of Jackson are an incredibly understanding community,” WFGA spokesperson Ifonda Velvet told Buckrail. “They care so much about the animals, I know there won’t be any issues with canceling the shed hunt for the good of the elk. But I do feel bad for the Sprout Scouts — they might have to start selling morels if they can’t sell the elk sheds.”
The Sprout Scouts will still have an opportunity to collect elk sheds on the National Elk Refuge (NER), as well as on all of the county’s U.S. Forest Service land and Bureau of Land Management property. The antlers will then be sent to laboratories across the state for more research. Scientists are working quickly to understand wapitium. They believe the most effective way to access the mineral’s healing properties is to spread it out over the ground so it can integrate into the soil and the elks’ diet. WFGA hopes to process discarded antlers into a powder and spray it from a helicopter over the NER to keep the disease at bay.
Cowboy Community College Head Researcher Buck Herdman told Buckrail that the scientific breakthrough is much more important than people’s desire to make cribbage boards, jewelry stands and chandeliers out of elk sheds.
“Come to think of it, we should probably test the antler arches in Jackson, too,” Herdman said. “This could allow elk populations to return to their historic ranges across the continent. Can you imagine what a healthy elk herd would do for the ecosystems in Florida and Ohio?”
WFGA is unable to refund Wyoming residents who have already paid the deposit for the elk shed hunt motorcade on May 1. Instead, WFGA will offer trucker hats and knock-off Yeti mugs at its “Save the Elk” alternative event in Curtis Canyon.
Editor’s note: If you think this is a cockamamie story, you’re right! Remember that today is April 1! This silly idea is just a joke. Happy April Fools’ from Buckrail!
